friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   had a Black Out last night .........she was a very lovely girl so I asked her out again for next weekend

   alone with the kids for the weekend. I have 18 hours of Pixar movies and a squirt gun full of high-fructose corn syrup. Should be fine.

   Valentine's Day weekend the G/F said she wanted to go somewhere expensive...So I took her to the Gas Station! ;)

   February 15th. The Black Friday for Chocoholics.

   I hope the one night stand was worth the free trip to TGI Friday's and the box of Whitman's Chocolates.

   The way I see it, EVERY Friday is Good Friday.

   Can you smell that? That's fresh-brewed coffee mixed with Friday...delicious!

   Today is Fat Tuesday, and of course, this being America, it will be followed by Even Fatter Wednesday, Obese Thursday and Fat-A$$ Friday.

   its friday I smell vodka

   The phone rang & I tried to answer the stapler..Yup its friday..chug chug

   TGIF - Thank Goose It's Friday

   Saw Jennifer Lopez's boob today. Successful weekend.

   Why even hit on chicks this weekend? I've already been fuc$ed once this week by gas prices.

   I don't wanna be presumptuous, but I think this Sandra Fluke chick just might be the love of my weekend. Now, if she'd only return my phone calls...

   Nothing says love like, "I'm busy this weekend but I'll call you Wednesday."

   You're so old your idea of going out on a Friday night is taking a walk to the outhouse.

   My greatest fear on Monday is greeting someone and asking someone how their weekend went and they actually telling me every mundane details about it.

   Thinking about getting the new iPad 23 that comes out today, but might hold off to next Friday and get the iPad 24.

   Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status...

   I woke up last Friday to find a letter from West Africa in my e-mail. Saturday morning, there was one from Nigeria and today, there was one from Jamacia. I have the feeling I am being black mailed....