Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Any Woman that keeps her Kid from they Father is a Dead Beat mother too!!!

   Respect for women, starts with your mother

   No, but I do kiss YOUR mother with this mouth.

   Dating a single mother: It's like continuing from somebody else's saved game.

   Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend and you're single. Just let that sink in..

   Stranger things have happened. Remember how Mary, Jesus's mother got pregnant without sex??

   When I date single moms, I tell the kids "I'm not trying to fill the hole left by your father; just the ones inside your mother."

   The silence that occurs when I'm waiting for my little sister outside the playground, and a mother asks me "What child?" and I answer, "I have not decided yet ..."

   I'm more confused than Ricky Martin's kids on mother's day.

   If I'm old enough to be your mother we can't date. Just kidding. Go ask for your allowance and buy me a drink.

   The Mother Of All storms (Frankenstorm) is heading toward New York City... Trump better get out the hairspray.

   Hurricane Sandy is Mother Nature's way of preventing another MTV Jersey Shore cast from happening. She's had enough!!!

   Hurrican Sandy is mother natures revenge for Jersey Shore.

   The reason it's called Mother Nature is because if it were Father Nature the weather would be a lot more predictable

   Please don't curse and use bad words when you comment on my posts. My mother f*cking family is on Facebook. Thank you.

   Your mother nodding solemnly on Antiques Roadshow as the appraiser explains that the ashtray you made for her in 1st grade is absolute crap...

   Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend. Lets all reflect on my life together.

   When I was a kid I wrote to Santa Clause to "please send me a baby brother",,,,,,Santa wrote back "send me your mother"!

   I don't care how old I am. If I lose my mother in a super market I'm going to panic.

   So a man walks into a bar with a monkey.. I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother's a whòrë.