life Funny Status Messages

   Don't think I won't eat this pudding cup just because I don't have a spoon. It's about to be the best 15 min. of this pudding cups life.

   When your boss asks why you’re late. Just shrug and say “thug life.” Bosses don’t mess with thug life.

   The best thing about marriage is how wives always like to joke about making sure the life insurance premiums are paid up... lol!

   We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we're terrified people in real life will find us on the internet

   Girl Pro Tip: Save up to 80% on life by being born pretty.

   We're taught from a young age that we need to work hard to achieve success, riches, or fame in life. Then we grow up to see sh****gs like Snooki, the Situation and the Kardashians. You know... People who have never done anything!

   You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

   In order to make change in your life you have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired

   Don't let anyone with bad eyebrows give you advice about life

   My life's great I'm just missing that significant other

   Life Observation: No matter where I live, my neighborhood has NEVER been even remotely the first stop on the mailman's post route.

   Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear

   Hey smoke detectors, feel free to use that last bit of battery life to continue monitoring fires instead of getting all beepy.

   You're saying, “Capital punishment shouldn't even be a debate. You deserve to be put to death if you take a life." You mean, you’ve never been wrongfully accused of doing something or the justice system is an angel.

   I'm amazed at how some people have survived this far in life

   I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.

   My love life is like a unicorn. I don't have a unicorn.

   Life is great... I don't have kids, aids or ebola.

   Life is more fun when you are on coffee or drunk.

   You're just once young but you can be a fool for the rest of your life.