nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   I had a choice tonight to either watch the Redskins lose on Monday Night Football or clean the toilets in my house. Since I didn't feel like throwing up this evening I'm cleaning house

   Hockey is better than football. Hockey is fast, the game keeps moving, way fewer penalties, and play is both strategic and arbitrary. Football is mostly about following patterns. So is a sewing class.

   I like Carrie Underwood better on Sunday night football

   ACA's, CMA's, ACM's...country music is working on having as many stupid awards shows as college football has pointless bowl games.

   After Colorado legalized marijuana, Peyton Manning bought 20 Papa John's stores in Colorado. If this football thing doesn't work out, I say he's got a bright future in finance

   I hope your favorite football team wins so that it changes your life in no way whatsoever.

   Obama said he wouldn't let his son play football bc he fears it would cause dementia. Someone should tell Obama that he doesn't have a son.

   Seattle vs Denver..Washington St vs Colorado...marijuana SuperBOWL..

   At this stage of the football season, all I care about is #s and food.

   Superbowl 48, 2 teams from the only 2 states 2 have legalized pot, I'm guessing tht their "secret" of success is a bowl of "weedies" every morn 4 breakfast

   If on Superbowl Sunday, The Broncos win,, I'll shave my chest hair and glue it to the top of my head,,, If they don't, I'll wait till the day after.

   We get it, ESPN. The superbowl will be cold, you don't have to remind us every 5 minutes.

   I was discussing NFL football with a friend when he asked ‘When was the last time the Redskins had a decent season?’ I replied ‘I think it was 1491, the year before Columbus discovered America.’

   The Broncos should just sit on the sidelines and watch the Superbowl for the commercials like the rest of us.

   The best part of this superbowl tonight was Facebook and Instagram!

   the stanley cup > a silver football

   "This was the best football game I've ever seen!" -Guy who's never seen a football game.

   Let me know when these lame american football jokes are over. Soccer > American Football.

   Damn Yankies and their football. Who plays football using hands anyways? Girls maybe.

   Explain this egomaniac yanks, world champs? When its a NATIONAL league? Football when you use your hands? instead of follow up highlights its who had the best commercial? Pathetic overconsumption unhappy society.