friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Sometimes I need to recheck my facebook account to remember what I did this past weekend. 

   drinking beer so I can drive to the store tomorrow to return the deposit bottles so I can afford to buy gas so I may go get more beer this weekend. Its an endless cycle.

   I got a new phone Friday, it has Texas Hold 'em installed and OH MY FREAKING GOSH IS IT SUNDAY ALREADY?????

   WARNING: Asking people about their weekend may result in them telling you about it.

   I tripped over the "Hump" in Hump Day and landed face first into Thirsty Thursday. Time to pick myself and my drink up so I can fall into Friday.

   Friday's smell like vodka

   Rebecca Black's fame only lasted 2 Friday's

   Exercise your suck muscle ladies, it's Friday Night!

   Pride Weekend? You know that you have hit it big when you get a song for a whole weekend. Way to go U2

   Mondays are God's punishment for what you did during the weekend ...

   M̸o̸n̸, T̸u̸e̸s̸, W̸e̸d̸, T̸h̸u̸r̸s̸, Friday !!!!

   "6 packs of smokes. A case of beer. 2 box's of condoms. A lotto ticket & $2.00 gas on pump 8" ... Now thats a friday night thats ready for a good time but aint going far!!

   Definition of pointless: Jobless people on Facebook updating their status to 'thank God it's the weekend'

   Looks like Hugh Hefner's fiance finally got her cataracts removed and called off the wedding realizing she'd have to wake up everyday next to a dude that looks worse than the dead guy on "A Weekend at Bernie's"

   Attention jobless people on Facebook....You are no longer allowed to mention "Hump Day", "TGIF" or "Can't wait for the weekend!" or anything else that implies you have to work then have days off to relax.

   When asked by reporters what he had planned to do on his wedding, Heff said he planned to watch a movie, runaway bride because it seemed appropriate.Really? I guess so. I would have thought A Weekend at Bernie's or Cocoon. :P .

   Okay ladies, exercise your suck muscle ladies, it's Friday Night!

   Happy Friday!! And to all my Atheist and Agnostic friends out there... T_IF!!

   Ladies, please for god's sake, there is a big difference between your diary entries and Facebook status updates. We really dont need to be informed about your period, your abortions or that STD you caught over the weekend. Keep that sh*t to yourself.

   Daily log Monday morning, 9:49am: I have decided I am done trying until Friday night, I've already been here too long this week.