Funny Status Messages

   Cop:Sir have you been drinking? Guy:Why is there a fat chick in the back? Cop:Sir are you drunk...? Guy:Why? IS there 2 fat chicks in the back!?

   watching the Situation's comedy routine on Trump's Roast.. more like The Cancelation.

   as long as charlie sheen thinks he's winning, why can't can we just let him win?

   If I wanted to listen to someone bi!ch, complain and act like there better than everyone else I'd listen to RAP music

   makes mistakes but the only difference between my mistakes and yours is that I learn from mine...

   now knows why they say silence is the best answer for a fool....

   Just on the news... boni blue world surfing championships in Australia has just been won by an unknown Japanese man on a fridge!!

   I think the "Situation" should be renamed "Regurgitation" after he stunk up the Donald Trump roast!.

   Did any bad guy in Scooby Doo actually commit a crime? I'm pretty sure wearing a silly mask and scaring people isn't illegal.

   The roast of Donald Trump wouldve been alot funnier with Greg Giraldo mixed in there I loved his jokes on the previous ones.... R.I.P Greg

   A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells “You should have been here at 8:30!” he replies: “Why? What happened at 8:30?”

   I think I like your name more than your post...yeah you below me v v

   When I'm at a bar I aways look for a girl who has a tattoo. I see a tattoo, and I think, here's a girl who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

   Last year, I deducted 10, 697 cartons of cigarettes as a business expense. The tax man said, “Don't ever let us catch you without a cigarette in your hand.”

   I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks ‘Are you reading that?” I didn't know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.

   FYI to the Prophets adding dates....Japan Earthquake was on 3/10/11, they are a day ahead of us.

   read that a new study indicates that 80% of children aged 0 to 5 are already exposed to some computer use. In response to show their concern, Apple Computer has announced the new iCrib to target the remaining 20%.

   Dear buffalo wings: What happened to us? You were soooo good to me last night. But today… all I can say is OUCH!

   I guess the Obama's need another vacation to Rio to take a break... Apparently picking all 4 #1 seeds in his March Madness bracket was just to much on him?? What a SLACKER!!!

   My condolences to Snoop and the rest of the Dogg family. RIP Nate Dogg