love Funny Status Messages

   No thanks "Love Quotes" account. I get all my love quotes from P0rnHub.

   I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.

   I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.

   Who says you can't make someone love you? I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

   If hearing “I love you” was enough, we’d all buy parrots and live happily ever after

   Don't forget to alienate people People love aliens

   Wife: You bought beer again!? Me: It followed me home. It needed love. I adopted it. [whispers to beer] Say hello to mommy.

   Why do you Americans have to involve race in everything? Leave it to the media to put ideas into your minds. The country/world will never know peace until we start referring to each other as human beings. One Love...

   Someone should tell Disney that a "true love's kiss" has WAAAAY more tongue.

   All of these couples in the Hallmark Christmas movies that fall in love in a couple of days should have sequels on the Crime Network by Halloween when one of them murders the other one.

   Dear nose-phobic as*holes who made fun of me when I was a kid. Over the years, I have made almost nine figures in royalties from my TV special - while YOU clowns were strapped to the hood of some dude's truck. Karma's a b*tch. Love, Rudolph

   I'd love to come to your holiday party and stare at my phone all night.

   My girlfriend said that I should use the term 'make love' instead of 'f*ck.' What the make love is she talking about?

   Maybe NYPD can use their new found love for back turning, the next time they see a dark skin person doing nothing wrong.

   Happy New Year Facebook world! Keep the drama coming in 2015. Love it!!

   OK, here's how it's going to be....Love me or leave me...understand? Hold on.....wait.....hey....where's everybody going??

   I love the way my abs look... in the morning... when I suck in my stomach... and turn to the side... while squinting... and the lights are turned off.

   Love is when two intelligent minds come together and become dumb.

   Love doesn't cost a thing but it can leave you bankrupt.

   Love is blind but marriage will open your eyes real quick.