love Funny Status Messages

   Watching p0rn and the woman actually said "i love you" in the heat of the moment & its the most disgusting thing i've heard in a p0rn ever.

   Jeremy Meeks the hot convict set to get a $100,000 per month modelling contract. While with my college degree, I'm expected to earn in a year at the PEAK of my future career. I love how our society glorifies violent criminals when honest, hard-working peo

   I totally love and fully respect that you're a little bit slutty

   "My wife and I are SO in love. Always finishing each other's..." (silence) (silence) *Russian accent* "You give me Green Card now, yes?"

   fall in love with someone who treats you like Kanye West treats Kanye West.

   I love hearing “saw this and thought of you”

   So I thought about asking the love of my life to marry me. Chicken Parmesan. . .

   I love you, flushable baby wipes.

   Maybe cops who plant evidence just really love gardening.

   It's not love if she takes the money off of the dresser.

   I burned my mouth on my pizza and I feel this is a strong metaphor showing me that the ones we love can hurt us the most.

   I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin or a lawnmower.

   "I Love You just the Way You Are" is the best compliment ever.

   I love when people say to me… Omg! Your so funny on FB. If they only knew about my awesome copy & paste ability..They could be just as funny!

   Kanye West and Kim Kardashian lock eyes... "I love you" Kanye whispers as he sees his own reflection in Kim's eyes.

   I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it's the duct tape of food.

   The difference between love and lust is one letter: hotel vs. motel

   Late night 20 minute conversations with the McDonalds Drive thru guy about those who we aspire to love, the desolate restitution of our youth, and McNuggets. Because adulthood.

   How much for the love drug? Sir, that's chloroform

   How much for the eternal loyalty & unconditional love? Ma'am that's a puppy