love Funny Status Messages

   I love intelligent women with high I.Q.s, but man it sure makes keeping track f the lies a pain in the ass..!

   FACT: Cops love donuts.... just not when you do them on a four lane highway.

   It's that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions...... * Ummm, Kids,, I meant my kids

   You call it the love of your life, I call it a bottle of liquor.

   Don't love someone so much that you stop watching p 0rn!

   Pro tip: when you wake up, reach for your GF's boobs before reaching for your phone to check your Facebook. Women love that.

   I'm at my most savage when I'm solo love making to the lion king soundtrack.

   'Words can't even describe how much I love you' - Someone who just used words to describe how much they love you

   If you love someone, set them free. If they come back with two police officers,,, You'll know that setting them free was a bad idea.

   "I have decided to stick to love... Hate is too much of a burden to bear" - Martin Luther King jnr

   I love you so much that if I had to choose between the last bottle of vodka in the world and you, I would make a toast in your honor.

   During love making she said "deeper" so I rolled over and started reading her poetry.

   Look me in the lazy eye and tell me you love me. Other eye.

   Captain and Tennille divorcing after 39 years? But I thought "Love was going to keep you together"? I guess he got tired of "Doing it to her one more time"

   A restraining order is kinda like a love note right?

   Some couples experience a deep, unconditional love that transcends words and exists as happiness in its purest form. I have that with vodka.

   Love yourself, just don’t do it in public. There are laws against that type of behavior.

   If you can't be with the one you love, tolerate the one you're with.

   If you love someone set them free. If they come back with two police officers, it means stalking was not a good idea.

   I fell in love with an Irish girl from the bad part of town. She had no time for me. She'd rather do the jig.