life Funny Status Messages

   Barack Obama is pro-life, as long as that life is on death row!

   Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.

   It would make your mother proud if you could NOT, walk, talk, spell, and wear your damn pants like you were raised by a rap video your whole life.

   life is a book.with .many chapters some are hard to get through some are easy but you have to keep turning the page to get to the next adventure..

   I need a Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?

   Would Like To Know Where He Can Purchase A GPS For His Life Journey, I Made A Wrong Turn And Can't Get Back On The Damn Highway!

   life is too short to date ugly men!!!

   Life is too short to dance with fat chicks

   "no one told you life was gonna be this way," but later in the same song... "you're mother warned you there'd be days like these"...well did your mother tell you or not? Can I get some consistency please?

   "no one told you life was gonna be this way," but later in the same song... "you're mother warned you there'd be days like these"...well did your mother tell you or not? Can I get some consistency please?

   What do you do if your about to die in front of a candy store? Eat a life saver :)

   trying to figure out this "cook book of life". I got the ingredients... I just dont know the recipe.

   life isn't a garden, stop being a hoe.

   You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!"

   Life is like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today,may burn your a*s tomorrow.

   When your children come up to you after a minor incident and say," This is the worst day of my life!!!" Just look at them.....smile......and say, "You haven't seen anything yet".

   Duct tape - $3.79, Shovel - $29.99, 50 lb. bag of lime - $14.99, Life without you - PRICELESS.

   Don't you just hate how some ppl get all crazy over a movie???? Like they think there is real life vampires out there who just stay up all night watching you sleep

   Never say "maybe" to a kid. All they hear is "I swear on my life that this will definitely happen."

   life is all about ass. Your'e either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one, or you live with one!