love Funny Status Messages

   I love gas stations that sell fireworks, that's like prostitutes that sell rope and shovels

   Two antennas meet on a rooftop, fall in love, get married....The wedding wasn't much but the reception was great!

   Always tell your daughters they're beautiful, and you love them. There's enough selfies on Facebook already.

   Please, always tell your daughters they're beautiful, and you love them. There's enough selfies on Facebook already.

   There are only two types of women in this world: 1) Those who love sex just as much as men do. 2) Liars.

   So,, The cashier at this Trader Joe's forgot to say "I love these" to one of my items, and now I have to go to the end of line and start over.

   I always assume girls who wear ponytails love sucking d*ck. (I assume the same about guys with ponytails as well)

   It all went to hell when attacking what we hate became more important than defending what we love.

   Fun fact: the person who said "If you love something let it go" died alone, surrounded by 342 cats.

   I'd love to see the headlines if the day ever came that Arnold Schwarzenegger was diagnosed with a tumor.

   If he doesn't grab your hips and pretend to bone when you bend over for something, it's not love. Or he's mature and well... boring.

   Despite our love of candy and fast food, the number of Americans who will live to be 100 years or older will increase dramatically. In 2010 there were 53,000 centenarians in the United States, and I have driven behind every single one.

   Pro tip:When women want to be held, hold em When they're sad, love em When they're drunk, try for butthole. It's easier when they're drunk \ :D /

   Pro tip:When women want to be held, hold em When they're sad, love em When they're drunk, try for butthole. It's easier when they're drunk \ :D /

   Love is often thought of as an emotion that takes time to develop. In reality, love is just a seed that gets planted. It grows when nourished. Fortunately in my case, my seed is a microwave popcorn seed ...

   Forget love and lust, I just want to find someone I can be comfortable with and not have to hold my farts in when I am with them. . .

   Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea of love? If you're dying to be hurt so badly, I've got a baseball bat for that.

   My GF & I are deeply in love. She loves me for my deep pockets. And I love her for her deep throat.

   Yes, tell me about the time you were cool. I love fiction.

   If you're a girl and drinks Vodka... there's a high probability, I love you.