Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   There needs to be more "damn it I missed my exit" exits.

   when does lindsey lohan turn 27?

   Why do I feel like the garbage can in my house is a game of Jenga & nobody told me we were playing??

   No you stupid assassins! I said BIEBER, not WINEHOUSE

   In life, there are three things you should not break: a heart, a promise, and a condom!

   hears....Amy has now joined Betty Ford in her clinic...w​ait...It's​ been relocated.

   n't it ironic... Amy Winehouse's debut album was called Frank. Maybe she should have talked to him!

   Dear Bruno Mars, dont die for that b*tch, obviously if someones throwing grenades at her she's involved in some illegal sh*t.

   The thermostat outside ran out of numbers and is just showing a picture of Halle Berry. THAT'S how hot it is outside.

   There's too much emphasis put on winning in life. I'm just trying for a participation ribbon.

   Amy Winehouse Making the recession worse for drug dealers since 2011

   I knew someone would have to do it but I didn't know it would be someone so famous! Amy Winehouse had to take her own life just so people on fbook would talk about something other than the weather! You all are to blame for this!!

   Hard to believe Amy Winehouse "vapor locked" today....I always thought that heroine, speed, crack and booze were part of the 4 basic food groups.

   I'm shocked. Amy Winehouse look like she would last 2 weeks more at least, with no worries.

   When people stutter I have a really bad urge to shout "REMIX!"

   Sometimes I wish I was an animal. Animals don't bullsh*t each other; they always keep it real and to the point. Animal pickup line is simple and effective - " I like you let's make babies”

   Don't say all guys are the same when it's just you who keeps falling for the same type of guys. The losers and the abusers.

   A guy can get up to 20 years prison for throwing peanuts at a flight attendant. Casey Anthony killed her daughter and she goes free. Yeah, seems fair..

   Ok RedBull. You and I, we're done..No, we can't be just friends, it's over. I know, it's hard for you, but if all goes well, in a few months you can start a support group with your cohorts, caffeine and nicotine, coz their time is soon coming to an end .

   thinks we should all deal with things like dogs: if you can't eat it, sniff it, or hump it, then piss on it and walk away!!