Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   stopped to think and forgot to start again

   beware of the "Facecrook" who keeps stealing my friends !!

   wishing people would stop sending me crap! I have enough stuff to do

   to read directions to cook ramen noodles.

   lost his teddy bear... Will you sleep with me?

   offered in an assortment of colours.

   in court her imaginary friend filed a restraining order against her

   hiding false teeth at the old folks home for the Easter hunt

   rearranging furniture at the home for the blind

   free everyday it's in the constitution

   never been called a Space Cowboy.

   doing nothing worth mentioning on facebook.

   due to the economic crisis is now only "pimping his profile".

   applied for job at AIG, I heard they get paid!

   wearing a thong made of shamrocks...

   ...To be Continued

   Gone with the Wind!

   Schizophrenic, and so am I.

   beating his record for consecutive days alive!

   would have brought sexy back but I lost the receipt