Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   going to the Playboy mansion looking for the Easter Bunny!

   's going on vacation and coming back on probation.

   Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, All fear is gone. I don't know about the rest of you, but I think that's pretty AWESOME!

   OCD's Anonymous meeting at my place. Anyone who feels compelled to clean up, go for it.

   puts the lotion in the basket or else it gets the hose again.

   Easter Bunny to her baby chic: "A magician pulled you out of a hat. Now stop asking questions!"

   doesn't want to work. He wants to bang on da drum all day.

   thinks it's cool we can celebrate the murder of our messiah with chocolate bunnies & marshamallow chicks.

   The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs

   Would you be upset if chickens colored placentas and put them in a basket with candy and toys?.........

   The Lesbians across the street just mowed the grass.....I guess Spring is here.....

   wonders...Do you think the guy that invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "If you build it, they will come."?

   if "rawr" means "i love you" then why does it scare me?

   thinks if I would have known I was going to be this thirsty this morning I would have drank more last night!!

   better to know and be disappointed, than to never know and always wonder..

   no easter bunnies were harmed in the making of this status

   Tip for the day: Don't throw manure into the wind.

   If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved? America!

   Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

   you may bang hundreds of girls,but your heart belongs to one girl only....so keep banging till you find her.