Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   thinks one trip to Wal Mart may cause an intelligent person to start questioning the theory of evolution.

   Dear Alejandro! Please poke Lady Gaga's face with your disco stick so she can finally get what ALL her songs say and she can sing about something else... finally. Thanks :) Grace.

   Michael Jackson was not DANGEROUS, he may have been a little OFF THE WALL at times but not BAD. When it came to songs and performing he was a THRILLER and a DANCING MACHINE. From his one glove to the Moonwalk, MJ will never be forgotten!

   I like messing with Texas by calling random numbers in Houston and telling them we've have a problem.

   I'm only on here for entertainment. Please don't try and make me learn anything.

   I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt. Undoubtedly, all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony.

   I hope Gryffindor wins the World Cup.

   "What's that!! An earthquake?" "YES!! RUN!!!" "OMG, WAIT" *runs to the computer and writes on Facebook* EARTHQUAAAAAAAKE!!!

   I decided I wasn't bad enough soo from here on out I'm gonna bathe naked...Yep thats right Butt Naked...

   If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

   Give peace a chance. Move to a new town and don't tell your relatives.

   I'm just not that into you.....when I'm sober.

   how IRONIC hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia is the fear of long words

   What part of Floccinaucinihilipilification dont you understand?

   just watched World Cup Highlights of all the goals scored. That's 43 seconds of my life I will never get back!

   now knows what happened to Michael Jackson. South Africa made thousands of vuvuzela horns out of him.

   I don't run from hurricanes, I drink them.........

   ...just heard that the Jackson family has asked, In honor of the 1-year anniversary of the death of Michael Jackson, that all child actors wear their pants at "half-staff" today...

   in honor of Michael Jackson, I think I will start the day off with the famous "crazy feet" dance and end with grabbing my foster home sack!!

   ... the weather guy just said, "We'll keep you up to breast" instead of "abreast." Guess this heat is getting to him, too ...