Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
#bringbackourboys Lets make peace not war. Lets love and not hate. We are all the same. We all have the same inspirations in life. Let's do good for each other and stop the hatred. 
My car doesn't have a passenger airbag but don't worry, if we get in an accident all the McDonalds napkins in the glove box will cushion you
The NBA Finals was a circus for LeBron, except a circus has three rings.
All the sin around today just means more girls for me in Heaven!!
Breaking news: a massive earthquake measuring 8.8 on the Richter scale was just reported in south florida Don't be alarmed- it was just all of the heat bandwagon fans jumping off at the same time
Do you think after the World Cup they all have orange slices and drink capri suns after the game and then their moms pick them up in their minivans? #SoccerSucks
MONDAYS ARE LIKE THAT UNCLE THAT USED TO HOLD YOU DOWN AND FART IN YOUR FACE...he was laughing but we never were...
How to walk UP the down escalator:... Step 1:... Step 1:.... Step 1:... Step 1:...Step 1:...
Taco Bell is selling breakfast now?.. Cool, I guess I can move into the men's restroom... If you need me, I'll be in my new office.
Woman failed the battle of the sexes when you started to do pole dancing and class it as exercise
whatever you do, no matter how hard it is. never engage panic mode
That moment when spurs get a 20 point lead and I got diarrhea.....
Poor Duane will have to Wade till next year.
Looks like LeBron is done till cramp begins next season.
Just wrapped up a great Father's Day with a phone call with my Dad. He taught me everything I know about fishing, grilling,and fixing things. He also taught me what to say and how to say it if I stub my toe or hit my thumb with a hammer. Thanks Dad!
Just turned on the NBA game on the "Spur" of the moment.
Today is the most confusing day in the hood... You are not the father!!!!! Maury
She died doing what she loved. Taking a car selfie.
Shout out to all the deadbeat dads and sperm donors this Father's Day. Unbeknownst to you, there are kids everywhere that are becoming AMAZING PEOPLE because they want to be nothing like you.
Reach for the stars and let your feet leave the ground now. Thanks for 40 years of great memories. 