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Some days, all I want is some ketchup packets placed in the bag, without having to ask. That is all.
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08-30-2015 12:02
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My wife is so annoying. "Do you think I'm sexy? Am I hot? How gorgeous am I? Do I have a nice ass?" I just want her to answer me.
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08-30-2015 12:04
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Underwear is for pussies See what I did there? .. Sigh.. Brilliant
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08-30-2015 12:06
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Stevie wonder is blind and can play the piano but I can't get a text back 😒
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08-30-2015 12:06
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Fruit flies. Is there anything nowadays that isn't gay?
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08-30-2015 12:10
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Nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting someone in it. J
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08-30-2015 13:40
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If you're an adult, you don't have haters. You're just a showoff .
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08-30-2015 15:00
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Have you ever turned the radio station and the same song was on..happened to me
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08-30-2015 21:45
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it in bad taste to ask if Wes Craven died in his sleep?
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08-30-2015 22:54
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Taylor should Have Grab The Mic from Kanye west and Said "im sorry, but MLK jr. Had the best speech of all time"
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08-31-2015 00:30 by
VamNate
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Kanye even went as far to become a Kardashian to get into the spotlight.
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08-31-2015 00:50
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You knew how I chew when you agreed to marry me.
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08-31-2015 01:58 by
Czovczov
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2020 will be like any other election...Kanye will vote for Kanye
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08-31-2015 02:15 by
Eddy
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Hope you're feeling OK after being sexually violated by Miley Cyrus last night.
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08-31-2015 10:02
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if Kanye did become president, the first lady will be. . . let that sit in
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08-31-2015 12:03 by
randygalaxy
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I wonder if, Wes Craven died in his sleep....Or did he go out with a Scream?
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08-31-2015 12:26 by
Lil-David
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I once took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name
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08-31-2015 22:07 by
BEGO
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My Uber driver almost crashed twice. 5 stars. Very exciting.
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08-31-2015 23:44 by
snotty
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Happy 35th Birthday Pac-Man!
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09-01-2015 08:25
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My wife and I got a book on how to spice up our love life. One suggestion was to make love in a car wash. It was great but it really pissed off those people doing their church fund raiser.
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09-01-2015 09:50
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