Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Since when did the bucket list turned into the bucket challenge. . .

   Be a visitee and not always the visitor... see how that works out!

   #SaveSharkWeekFromDiscovery, spread the word.

   Strange how people will judge stories like Tony Stewart, but try their damnedest to get out of jury duty...interesting.

   I'm beginning to understand why Ukraine vacation packages are being steeply discounted...

   If I've learned anything from the Kardashians... it's that I shouldn't let my complete lack of talent hold me back. Now who wants to make some porn. . .

   I remember back in the 70's when Yoga was called Twister. . .

   Finally brings some authenticity to his movie, Dead Poets Society don't ya think?

   Goooodnight Vietnam !!! RIP Robin Williams one of a kind...

   some how I stabbed myself in the eye with the corner of a business card. Is that a good enough excuse to buy an eye patch and wear if for a week? Being a pirate for a.week would be awesome

   I don't like the idea of having to go on in a world where good people like Robin Williams is no longer with us, but Justin Beiber is still alive and well.

   I ate lunch and Furr's. Apparently the wait staff didn't find it funny that I kept telling them I wanted a furr burger.

   I'll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.

   Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.

   It seems so unfair, someone that filled millions of hearts with joy and laughter, suffered from the deep pain of depression. ..... RIP Robin Williams

   I guess the Dead Poets Society has a new member. (Too soon?)

   He's not really dead, he's trapped in the jungle waiting for some to roll an 5 or 8

   I wonder if Michael Jackson doctor had anything to do with it

   Why can't I wake up to some good news for a change? Like hearing that Justin Bieber and the whole Kardashian Clan perished in a plane accident?

   In high school, I used to assist my teacher in Spanish class by "interpretive dancing" her lesson off to the side for "clarification"