Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Why couldn't it have been Paul Wall? No one wants to see HIS grill.

   You kids complain about everthing.....You want to know how bad I had it? I'm so old the "Diaper Man" used to come to our house to take the sh#tty diapers away and bring back "clean ones" that really some other kid had sh it in!

   "Insecure ass women cant accept any guybeing more successful than they are andanger is the shield..."

   ironic he died in a car accident with the last name Walker

   A Bieber should've been in that car instead of a Walker.

   Looks like the driver owes Walker a 10 second car now

   I'm furious at how fast people jokkke about celebrity deaths on the internet.

   Didn't know Paul Walker starred in the new "Catching Fire" movie..

   Kills me that people act as if these people(celebrities) are someone they knew personally...?

   I have psychic powers...I knew you would read this.

   When a man dies, God asks his angels; "Was he married? If the answer is "Yes" God says, 'Take him straight to heaven he's already been through enough hell"

   The sad part about seeing any shopper at Walmart with a blue tooth, is that normally it is that shopper's only tooth.

   Human beings like to be entertained more than anything else. Hence the celebrity worshipping.

   Smartphones and dumb people - a match made in the 21st century.

   Why "Trojan" condoms? Didn't the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing.

   Porsche for sale C?HEAP! Needs some work.

   Next year I want me some Pilgrims and Indians at my Thanksgiving meal. I'm tired of this family experience.

   I don't use hashtags, but if anybody wants one I still have an extra one I got from IKEA... You'll just need to assemble it.. // =

   16 yr old daughter: "Leave me alone dad"... Me: You don't want me hugging you?"... 16 year old daughter: (crying) "Hug Me, but leave me alone"..... *Woman training complete.

   Paul Walker .....starring in his most realistic performance yet ... "Fast and the Furious Fire 8, The Final Splat".