Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."-----JFK

   anyone going to tell America's funniest videos about YouTube?

   If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you're brave enough to ask that girl out.

   Netflix gives you 15 seconds between episodes to decide whether or not you're doing anything with your life today.

   I almost bet the people on the outside of the ark were talking crap as well...

   If Mary gave birth to Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God, did Mary have a little lamb?

   There is no number for what just happened in that bathroom..

   Oral sex.... a taste of things to come

   The # of selfies someone takes at the gym is indirectly proportionate to the # of times they go...

   "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."~JFK "How's it going, Sunshine?" ~ Barack Obama campaigning in Sunrise, Florida

   "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."-----JFK he was not Just kidding.

   I went outside to smoke some weed 2 days ago and haven't been to work since.

   What do you mean you misunderstood the tone of my text? I put a sad smiley face at the end of it, didn't I?

   Everything happens for a reason. For instance: You're on fire because I don't like you.

   Every day that I don't die is the best day of my life.

   Good luck to all the Hunters this weekend! I've had no luck hunting White Tale all year!

   "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."-----JFK Are you listening, OBAMA?

   to Santa, "My Mommy doesn't belive in you! Santa to kid, "Tell mommy to stop believing Obama!"

   I'm bored but not "correct people's grammar on Facebook" bored.

   To drink or not to drink!? What a stupid question!