Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Some people need to realize that Facebook is a social networking, not a diary.

   Nothing is ever worth giving up your class.

   Because I was born in the 90s I have, so far, lived through 3 decades, 2 centuries and 2 millenniums and I am yet to be 20!

   You know you're country when you use a horse trailer to move.

   People I am hating today: Anyone who refers to guacamole as "guac."

   Now that we've separated all the crazies into "Tea Party" and "Occupy Wall Street," can us normals just get on with our lives?

   The nice black lady working at my hotel is named "Cliche". I hope her brother is named "Stereotype".

   Some people don't need an "Easy" button, they need a "STFU" button.

   It's casual Friday. Go give your boss the finger!

   Want to finish that game of Monopoly we started 10 years ago???

   there a market for a limo "General Lee" where you consume alcohol from a Mason jar and have direct access to a "Dixie" horn? One can only dream...

   Remember: Eat your school, stay in drugs, and don't do vegetables, ok? :)

   I taught her how to love, she taught me how to hate.

   Every status has the potential to be funny with the proper amount of alcohol and or narcotic.

   I am not an alcoholic, I am a social drinker. I can't help it if I'm more social than the rest of you!!

   who keeps posting all these lameo spongebob jokes please stop your wasting space for the good stuff thats put here daily

   Hey Europe just because you call your bathing suit a racing brief doesn't mean you don't look like a man wearing panties!

   Bus drivers inwardly laugh at you when they drop you off in the rain.

   there's nothing wrong with crying ..unless you're a guy

   Guys: When you're watching your friend play a single player game, you secretly hope they die.