Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
Next»
Most Recent
Page: 76 of 6452
The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off
27
3
←Rate |
02-17-2021 12:35
Comments (
0
)
Why do recipes say to "preheat oven?" Shouldn't it just be "heat oven?"
27
3
←Rate |
02-21-2019 11:07
Comments (
0
)
Now it's too hot out to take the Christmas lights down.
27
3
←Rate |
06-28-2019 19:49 by
Moon
Comments (
0
)
My favorite superheros are.. Baskin and Robbin!
27
3
←Rate |
09-10-2019 15:47
Comments (
0
)
I'm never more optimistic than when I put fast food restaurant sauce packets in the fridge and think I'm going to use them at some point.
27
3
←Rate |
09-24-2019 15:30
Comments (
0
)
I love coffee, but if someone with a British accent offers me crumpets and tea, l would totally cheat.
27
3
←Rate |
04-30-2016 12:09
Comments (
0
)
I wonder where Noah kept the termites on the ark.
18
2
←Rate |
11-18-2018 02:25
Comments (
1
)
"Who let the dogs out?" - [Pavlov getting annoyed]
18
2
←Rate |
11-26-2018 13:23 by
Truman
Comments (
0
)
I’m going to write a modern Christmas song called “baby is cold outside” it’s the story of a woman arguing with her husband about the thermostat
18
2
←Rate |
12-17-2018 05:57
Comments (
0
)
I don’t like the term “dad bod”. I prefer “father figure”
18
2
←Rate |
07-12-2019 22:18 by
PosterBoy
Comments (
0
)
I had this crazy nightmare where I actually enjoyed my job. Thank God I woke up before my boss walked in.
18
2
←Rate |
09-16-2019 20:49
Comments (
0
)
The things I do to make my wife happy. I'm wearing her underwear. She doesn't know I'm wearing them but when she puts them on tomorrow she'll think she lost weight.
18
2
←Rate |
09-25-2019 21:59 by
Gripenfelter
Comments (
0
)
At my age, "getting lucky" means being able to find my car in the parking lot.
18
2
←Rate |
09-26-2019 13:38
Comments (
0
)
I think we see so many men with long beards nowadays because nobody can afford those Gillette replacement blades.
18
2
←Rate |
09-26-2019 15:27
Comments (
0
)
What does "colder than hell" mean? Isn't everyplace colder than hell?
18
2
←Rate |
02-24-2018 23:33
Comments (
0
)
It's pretty amazing how many times my daughter likes to say "it's not fair!" considering she has never had to pay taxes
18
2
←Rate |
04-09-2018 11:36
Comments (
0
)
If you eat cake fast enough your Fitbit thinks you're walking
18
2
←Rate |
01-13-2020 09:21
Comments (
0
)
Next time a telemarketer calls, hit 'em with an "I love you" right off the bat. Just keep saying it, no matter what they say..
18
2
←Rate |
01-30-2020 07:08
Comments (
0
)
I don’t think my wife realizes that the FREE SEX coupons I gave her last Valentine’s Day are about to expire.
18
2
←Rate |
02-12-2020 08:00
Comments (
0
)
Happy birthday to Alexander Graham Bell. In his honor, I’ll be calling in sick.
18
2
←Rate |
03-03-2020 06:32
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
Next»
Most Recent
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com