Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 5795 of 6455

   messageicon Wow...Im sittin at work watchin the snow fall... Its friggin October! Mother Nature must of finally hit menopause.. That fridgid b!tch made it snow!! Bring fall back!!!
←Rate | 10-27-2011 19:42 by Seanathon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I weigh, I don't know...74317.965555 pats of butter.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 19:43 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Halloween. You don't need a costume, your face is scary enough as is.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 20:39 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon accidentally touched a woman's backside so she gave me a look and said "Prick", so I poked her!
←Rate | 11-06-2011 12:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Young souls, when Adults say "Stay away from drugs", what they mean is stay away from Their drugs.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 14:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon confusion spawns from not being honest with yourself and true to your own feelings. Now get your head out of your ass!
←Rate | 11-15-2011 21:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting a lot of nice things said to me lately. I don't believe a word of it.
←Rate | 11-20-2011 09:27 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon zombies can't smell vampires...
←Rate | 11-22-2011 08:50 by guthguth Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am tying the legs together keeps the inside moist...
←Rate | 11-23-2011 19:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never worry about a girlfriend cheating,.. It's how much bigger there boyfriend might be that scares me."
←Rate | 11-27-2011 01:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the moment when you realize that you've been singing the wrong words to a song usually happens when everyone is singing aloud in a car. kills the song and the moment.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's taken me this long to realize "Eurozone Crisis" wasn't referring to a woman's underarm area.
←Rate | 12-01-2011 14:01 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you're in the car alone everyone outside is a serial killer.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 22:59 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon V@gina is my weapon of choice.
←Rate | 06-04-2012 14:09 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't like the way water looks at me. I think it's jealous of my relationship with alcohol.
←Rate | 06-17-2012 03:19 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I ask her a question when I already have the info just to see if she lies. Then she shows why I can't trust her.
←Rate | 07-02-2012 06:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you're in public and your nuts itch!!
←Rate | 07-10-2012 13:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women never shut up...Especially during sex.
←Rate | 07-11-2012 16:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't want a baby because they're way too lazy.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 14:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone wonder why Internet explorer 9 has commercials? When it comes with every computer anyway, and its free to download?
←Rate | 05-09-2012 01:27 by chris Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left