Linda Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Everyone's gynecologist uses the term 'battle damage,' right?
←Rate | 06-18-2012 15:06 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I squirt mayonnaise across my breasts so I don't forget what it's like to have a boyfriend.
←Rate | 06-07-2012 14:02 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I'm down on my knees, I'm probably not one who's begging.
←Rate | 06-08-2012 13:43 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I don't look like I barely survived a natural disaster after we've had sex, you need to try harder.
←Rate | 06-14-2012 10:40 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon Glittery eyeliner makes my daddy issues sparkle.
←Rate | 06-25-2012 14:35 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a guy says he doesn't eat pu$$y,I always say...well, nothing, because he's pretty much dead to me at that point.
←Rate | 06-14-2012 10:56 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeah, yeah. It's Hump Day, but get off my leg, please. I don't like you that much.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 08:40 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon I usually watch porn on mute; so the neighbors can hear me climax.
←Rate | 06-11-2012 14:38 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't mind when people make kitchen jokes about women, but when they make jokes about women driving... Well that's when I run you over.
←Rate | 06-17-2012 12:17 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon just sat down in a red ants nest. closest i've been to orgasm in months. (by external force)
←Rate | 06-09-2012 13:25 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon used to be indecive but now she's not so sure
←Rate | 09-21-2011 12:23 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon You have to work to get me and you have to work to keep me.
←Rate | 05-30-2012 13:33 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just found spider crawling up my leg. I wanted to kill it but I missed so I cut off my leg instead.
←Rate | 06-16-2012 12:11 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon V@gina is my weapon of choice.
←Rate | 06-04-2012 14:09 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon i can't sing but I do have other oral talents.
←Rate | 02-18-2014 13:39 by linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon The heat wave continues! It's so hot in New York City that the Statue of Liberty was asked to blow out her torch.--Joan Rivers
←Rate | 08-03-2011 21:25 by Linda Comments (0)  


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