Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 320 of 6385
So, I've noticed that your superpower is the ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing.
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03-08-2013 08:20 by MDS
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I wonder during the election for Pope, did the other cardinals point to the losers and say excitedly "you are NOT the father"
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03-13-2013 14:50
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..didn't get the job... heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again
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03-13-2013 15:24
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if you update your profile pic to one that's 2-3 years old without acknowledging its age, I will comment about how much thinner you were back then...
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04-04-2013 13:09
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There is a piece of aluminum foil blowing across the road and all I can think is that one of you is without your protective headgear today.
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07-25-2012 13:24
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its amusing listening to someone's lie when you already know the truth
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07-27-2012 02:24
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I just learned the population of sheep in New Zealand is 60 Million..... How long did someone have to stay awake to figure that out?
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04-13-2013 10:32 by snotty
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Someone who went to school and got a degree in graphic design put time and effort into designing the butterfly design on my toilet paper
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04-17-2013 01:03
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Open your mind before your mouth.
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04-21-2013 09:32
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I started training for a .00001K run coming up 2 years from now. It's going to be hell, but I think I can do it.
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06-05-2013 08:45
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My Crocs say I'm always down for a good time but my fanny pack lets you know I'm prepared for anything.
no matter how fast you run, the serial killer always walks faster
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06-13-2013 04:17
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Today is full of possibilities and I have a strong feeling none of them are mine.
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11-12-2012 12:27 by Czovczov
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Dolly Madison , you're on the bench ..... Little Debbie , suit up , you`re on .........
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11-17-2012 10:16
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That mini heart attack you get when you reach in your pocket and your phone isn't there.
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09-05-2012 18:34 by yobs
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How do you know when your pet rock dies?
Denial (n.) Balding men with ponytails.
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09-29-2012 09:10 by Czovczov
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Keep an extra condom in your wallet, you'll never know when you have to shut her kids up with a balloon dog.
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09-29-2012 15:23 by Baddie
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someday i'll get that abacus. you can count on it
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01-12-2013 13:58 by Aaron
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Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn't sing it out loud in public.
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01-30-2013 05:46 by Czovczov
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