Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   It's a shame that people who start a sentence with, "I know it's none of my business," never leave it at that.

   Everyone has a special talent, I like to think mine is ruining people's day.

   I'm at my white trashiest when I'm on the front porch with a group of people trying to figure out why the cops are 2 houses down.

   People will stop making small talk with you if you simply wear clown makeup whenever you're out in public.

   When someone I like deletes me, I think "Why? What did I do?" Then I eat real food, have real sex and high five real people I actually know ;

   Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.

   if people were as nice to each other in real life as they were in Facebook comments, think how different the world would be.

   If you were on fire and I had a beer in my hand, I would be warm, toasty, and drunk.....

   .My super power is to slap people upside the head when they need it most. No need to thank me. Just doing my job.

   People who have high and unnecessary attitudes deserve the standing ovation of my tallest finger !!!!!!!

   Did any bad guy in Scooby Doo actually commit a crime? I'm pretty sure wearing a silly mask and scaring people isn't illegal.

   Some people, even in photos, just look like they'll smell.

   Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to these people? Why don't they put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while delivering the mail?"

   heard that people who talk to themselves tend to be extremely smart. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that.

   People say I'm too patronising (that means I treat them as if they're stupid).

   I love it when people call me at 3 AM. "Hey, are you asleep?" "No, I'm skydiving."

   You'd be surprised how people get the words "f*ck off" confused with "please continue."

   .....So people wanna live in "Avatar" world...wtf? Have they not seen "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory"?

   Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

   Try this, the next time your friend is drunk, switch his/her mom's number with their girlfriend/boyfriend's...