Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   The FBI keeps insisting that the greatest threat to America is "Right Wing Extremist Groups." In the mean time people & cops are being murdered across the nation by anything other than that. Beginning to think the biggest threat is those FBI warnings.

   Pain changes people. Don't hurt them if you don't want them to change on you.

   Saturday, brought to you by the people that brought you coolers, ice, and cold beer.

   Country music was much better back when they sang about murdering people all the time

   Adorable when people think that I’d care enough to hate them.

   Our baby woke up in the other room while my wife and I were having sex. Great, now I get to hear two people cry.

   Santa works one day a year and spends the other 364 judging people. Where can I apply for this job?

   I forgive people by forgetting about them.

   The problem with the world today is that way too many people are living their lives in theory in the virtual world.

   People are always on the verge of telling everyone they’re on the verge of something.

   I never borrow money from people because payback is a b*tch.

   The amount of people who confuse "too" with "to" is just two damn high.

   If you hold your shoe up to your ear in public, you can hear the sound of people laughing at you for looking like a dumb-a$$.

   People throw around the word "hero" too much. Use it for what it's for: a millionaire actor playing a disabled person.

   Hope the boss learns not to call people in on Saturday afternoon with no advance notice. Half the department is drunk! This should go well.

   Some people have such annoying habits, for instance-breathing...

   thinking why the hell are people confusing Green Hornet and Green Lantern... The only similarity is the word "Green"...No wonder movies like "Vampire Sucks" and "Disaster Movie", is able to achieve number 1 status. -_-

   more people should be less like most people.

   Am temporarily using a bedcover as a curtain for one of my windows...I hope people assume am a heroin addict and not poor

   Teenagers are the most misunderstood people on the planet. They're treated like children, and expected to act like adults.