Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Being nice to the people you don't like isn't called two faced, its called growing up

   Politicians are like prostitutes; they get paid to pretend they like people while they are screwing them.

   Funny how people seem to call when I'm away from my desk. It's probably because I walk away from my desk when the phone rings.

   Travelocity search: "Ferguson" other people who have searched Ferguson have searched Beirut, Kabul, and Detroit.

   Testing shows that people in the USA know less about geography than England, Japan and like 100 other countries I've never heard of.

   What is it about a car that makes people think we can’t see them pick their nose?

   .... All Lives Matter ..... Well .... Except: terrorists, rapists, child molesters, cop killers & anybody who hates America. Screw those those people!

   watched several people 'ducking' while running through the rain tonight ... does that really help?

   Saw a lady with back boobs at the beach. People with back boobs should wear backini's.

   Drama Queens/Kings, Hypocrites, two-faced, exaggerators and fake people can all be found on Facebook!!!

   thinks that calling some people "white trash" is an insult to styrofoam.

   crazy people are exhausting!

   The best thing about being productive is going to bed knowing you did something. Or I think that's how productive people feel. I don't know.

   I'm hearing voices again. Probably because my window is open and there are people outside talking, but still.

   If you can tell I'm drunk, you need to catch up.

   When I get old, I don't want people thinking, "what a sweet old lady..." I want them to worry, "I hope she's not armed..."

   Some people say I dream too much, I say its just because my life is better than their dreams are.

   Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

   Have they invented a cure for morning people yet?

   Funny how intolerant all these tolerant people are...