Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   To all the SINGLE MEN, GEEKS and Comic Book Nerds//// You lost out on Feb. 14 Valentine's Day.....You lost out on March 14 Steak and BJ Day ....BUT today is YOUR day....HAPPY PALM SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!

   Interesting NFL fact: Brett Favre is the only active play to be drafted by the Confederate Army and the NFL

   If Barbie isn't a slut... Then why do people have to buy her boyfriends!?

   Ummmm excuse me to my lovely US of A buddies but here in Australia the word "FANNY" means a completely different thing....so when you ask me if I use a fanny pack just remember this for future reference PMSL

   Everybody's tan will be so much darker this year.

   hmmm..wonder if Tom from Myspace has a Facebook page

   Gimme back that Filet-O-Fish... Gimme that fish!

   The tragedy of the poor is that they can afford nothing but self-denial.

   NOTE TO MYSELF: "The security code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card."

   Dear a$$hole on your bike in front of me at the stop light; yes I can read your shirt, I'm so amused sincerely your wife!

   Seriously, If You Sent me A Mafia Wars Request again, I'm Gonna have War with You for Real..!!!

   i wonder if bus drivers stop at bus stops when they drive their own cars??

   went to a movie tonight with 18 blonds!!! they said because 18 and under was not allowed

   If you don't star the tweet you can't have any pudding... How can you have any pudding if you don't star the tweet!

   The only reason people hate Nickleback is because they HAVE heard them play. Nickleback's idea of rock is like Avril Lavign's idea of punk - or Will Smith's idea of rap.

   If only fans of celebrities, football, rock concerts etc would get as excited about racism, injustice, poverty, illegal wårs..man would be live in a better place

   I thought David Bowie died in 1836 at the Battle of the Alamo?

   I wonder if Michael Jackson doctor had anything to do with it

   Disappointed with the NFL's decision to suspen Peterson. I could see if he spanked someone else's kid, but his own?

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