Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

   Jimi Hendrix God of Guitar \m/

   Mexican words for the day...JEWEL & JAMAICAN Usage...I know one day JEWEL make me happy but today JAMAICAN me crazy!!

   The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

   Michael Jackson's doctor gets four years in jail?!?! Thats because his victim was white...

   Guy with the mothball smell p ost, you sir are one sick puppy.

   Hey Budyy...."yeah you who is reading this"......Are you still waiting for something funnny? Give me a sec, I'm getting a BJ.....

   say Jesus loves you... He only likes me as a friend, though.

   Ironically this comes close to Obama's reelection! Hmmm... I think Obama and Osama are either working together or the same person!

   ‎2011 is the sum of 11 consecutive prime numbers: 157 + 163 + 167 + 173 + 179 + 181 + 191 + 193 + 197 + 199 + 211 = 2011

   come on guys, off my back, I posted some funny ones this time. Gary K.

   What's Strong enough for man, but made for a woman, the back of my hand.....

   Bin Laden died on 5/2/2011 5+2+2+0=9 11 "9/11" karma's a b**ch

   Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

   I bet Steve Jobs is glad the iPad2 launch is Japan isn't today. Sales would have been disastrous.

   has just realized there's a website that you can search for all the sex offenders that live within 50 km of your postal code, check it out!! www.plentyoffish.com

   I've missed you guys like a retard misses the point.

   A pack of weed- 30 bucks, rollin paper 2 bucks, n the joy after smoking it priceless

   heard that coroner's report that Gary Coleman died from a series of Diff'rent Strokes

   My biggest fear is that some day my wife will find all the ice cubes I've kicked under the fridge.