Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   "making plans for tonight, want to be part of them? "

   Thanksgiving! The time of the year where the bathrooms are the busiest

   If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off

   thinks we don't need a 51st star with our current economy!

   Why does watching Twilight New Moon make me want to watch Teen Wolf!

   taliking to his wall. sssshhhh!!!!!!!

   Sorry, I'm into the "inflatable" type.

   dyslexic which means never having to say that you're yrros

   ------------is clearly convinced life is practically all about reading ------------------

   You can negotiate with a terrorist, not with a redhead.

   You're never more indignant in life than when you're shopping in a store that you feel is beneath you and one of the other customers mistakes you for an employee of that store.

   Family and friends know the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you've forgotten the words.

   theres so much more room for activites!!!

   just kicked off of public transportation

   Whoever invented calories is gonna get their face f***ed with ice cream cake.. .

   Hopeless you say !!! Nah, don't give up, some people live an entire life on hope....and guess what ?? They living fine.... :)

   Do you go down on the first date?.....oh wait this isn't Zoosk.

   I'm wondering which is worse; the fact i'm is talking to the toaster or the fact that the toaster is talking back

   APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key.

   the first rule of Sam's Club is that you will not admit that you were stupid enough to go there on Black Friday