Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   not as thunk as you drink I am occifer...i was just podging dotholes...

   facebook baby,i love you,even though you suck. . . or,maybe THAT is why I love you

   says 'gardening' is what it's called when adults want to play in the dirt!

   I know you need a wish right now, wish right now .. but quit postin song lyrics on my wall !

   Dont ever let your gaurd down, ever!..and when you think its ok to let your gaurd down that is the time when you should realllly keep it up!, waaaaaay up!

   NXT 4 Life! They're taking over!

   mad because the government took away my Weapon of Mass Destruction.

   When sh*t dont look right, Start a fight.

   Everything taste good and is easy to swallow with a little "hope and change" sprinkled on it.

   he'll shoot, he'll score, he'll eat your labrador, Football fans jeerig!! ofcourse they were Korea Fans!!

   I wonder what the word for dots looks like in braille

   If only those tight shirts with the bedazzled wings on the back that some guys wear would allow them to fly far, far away, the world just might be a better place.

   It's like a blast of hydration...to your face.

   When I say "I understand", it doesn't mean I agree, it doesn't mean I understand, it certainly doesn't not mean I'm listening.

   laying beside a dead deer in a santa suit

   Certain cars really say something about you..For instance...Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler! and Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year! lol

   has been on detox for 4 days and now knows how missisippi got it's name.

   is the lime in your Corona!

   Just got freaky with a Mannequin hand and a electric razor taped to a golf club shaft.

   whips her hair back and forth.