Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Dear Auntie Em, "I Hate you and I hate Kansas, I'm leaving and I'm taking the dog.... Love Dorothy.

   Today In the Facebook Stock Market, 'Happy Easter' status updates are up 200%, 'Stupid Group Invitations' are up 50%, 'Friendship Bonding' plummets and 'Exaggerations' are down 3.40 pts on the Nasdaq.

   some woman want their man to be smart, dead drop gorgeouse, with colourful personality, who can listen to them, who'loves shopping n chick movies. Well ladies I hate to tell you but man like those<<< called GAY. Appriciate a guy for who he is.

   making home made dynamite is so much fun

   yeah I called her up,she thinks I don't listen to her,or something,I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

   Just letting my mind wander since it won't stop and ask for directions.

   Heard on the news, while hunting for Easter eggs the kids found a body, can you imagine nexy year when mom says come on lets see what the Easter Bunny brought you. I Picture kids screaming and crying, hell I would peobaly never celebrate Easter agian.

   Ok Who Else Hates How Celebs become More Famous After death Example Chris Kanyon Gurrreo Britney murphey And MJ

   going to the Playboy mansion looking for the Easter Bunny!

   's going on vacation and coming back on probation.

   Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, All fear is gone. I don't know about the rest of you, but I think that's pretty AWESOME!

   OCD's Anonymous meeting at my place. Anyone who feels compelled to clean up, go for it.

   puts the lotion in the basket or else it gets the hose again.

   Easter Bunny to her baby chic: "A magician pulled you out of a hat. Now stop asking questions!"

   doesn't want to work. He wants to bang on da drum all day.

   thinks it's cool we can celebrate the murder of our messiah with chocolate bunnies & marshamallow chicks.

   The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs

   Would you be upset if chickens colored placentas and put them in a basket with candy and toys?.........

   The Lesbians across the street just mowed the grass.....I guess Spring is here.....

   wonders...Do you think the guy that invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "If you build it, they will come."?