Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5748 of 6375
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twying to twalk wiff twenty wemon dwops in my mouff
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07-23-2010 10:05
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...is about as useful today as an appendix transplant...
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...wondering why the police never send out any "feline units"...
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Does a midget using an iphone look like a regular person using an ipad?
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07-23-2010 08:13 by rob776
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Facebook has revealed that there are many, many people just like me and now I know why the world is screwed.
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"Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you."
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Of course I'm out of my mind. It's dark and scary in there.
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Complain: To explain your pain for no gain.
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Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person.
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Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
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What appears to be the end may really be a new beginning
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I like to pretend I'm a judge on "So You Think You Can Dance" when I'm at the strip club.
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07-23-2010 05:59 by Leeferd
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blocked you from my news feed. I don't care how many mobsters you've iced, that you found a pink sheep on your farm, or that you've redecorated your virtual apartment.
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While driving saw a woman smoking in her Prius...obviously she doesn't see the irony!
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07-23-2010 03:52 by Xerxes910
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`edison failed 10,000 times before he made the electric light.do not be discouraged if you fail a few times`-napoleon Hill
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07-23-2010 03:46 by hamiisi
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wondering who trains the suicide bombers how to do it..
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07-23-2010 03:37
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~ A man went to see a psychiatrist, wearing only Gladwrap shorts. The shrink said, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts".
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went into a library dressed as a German classical composer and asked for a book on Austrian actors. The librarian said, "Aisle B, Bach".
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walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64k, 128k, 256k, 512k and 1mb. That was a trip down memory lane.
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~ A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."