Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5728 of 6384
I love to whisper in a woman's ear. Not because I'm romantic, but because I don't want other people to hear me lying.
BREAKING NEWS: Brett Favre sees his shadow. Six more weeks of retirement speculation ahead
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08-04-2010 18:13
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You guys, this is my first ever facebook status update sent from a toilet. Did I do good?
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08-04-2010 17:39 by Aaron
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Brett Favre told the Vikings he is retiring today, but also said he will sign his new contract by Friday.
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08-04-2010 16:14 by Jeff
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seriously doubting that the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about
Breaking News: Hero pigeon craps on A-Rod during 600th home run trot around the bases
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08-04-2010 14:07
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I wish jobs had a sick & tired of being sick & tired leave...
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08-04-2010 14:02
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Here's a question...Why do girls take pictures together in the bathroom when they go out? I cant recall a single time my buddys and I have posed up for a photo in the john...does it smell like picture time or what??
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08-04-2010 13:33 by SmoknGT
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Note to vegetarians:Plants are living things to, they are just easier to catch.
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08-04-2010 12:35
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Little girl asked her father,do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time?The father replied,No, some begin with - If elected I promise..
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08-04-2010 12:33
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9 times more people are killed by falling coconuts than by sharks. I CANNOT WAIT for Coconut Week!
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08-04-2010 12:32 by jdpower
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A charity single has been released in aid of Pakistan flood relief....Raindrops keep falling on Ahmed
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08-04-2010 12:28
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and Premature Ejaculation are now friends...
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08-04-2010 12:26 by Nick
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Scientists have been investigating how snails know how to find their way home. WTF? It's on their backs.
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08-04-2010 12:26
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A key ring is a handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.
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08-04-2010 12:24
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My girlfriend called me lazy the other day. I almost responded
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08-04-2010 12:22
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When I found out my new toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked
August 4th 1969....Yeah, not a day that America needed! Or what ever country he was REALLY born in..
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08-04-2010 11:28 by Gr~Apes
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at the circus watching a guy shoot out of a cannon. I thought, "Half of me wants to do that sometime.". Then I thought, "Half of me already did do that the day I was conceived!"
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08-04-2010 11:15 by Mike M
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wished parents would stop posting pics of their kids every day on facebook. We know how ugly your kid is with out the constant reminder.
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08-04-2010 09:26
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