Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5704 of 6384
BREAKING NEWS: Myspace is dead!
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08-14-2010 07:10
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I am used but in good condition
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08-14-2010 04:11 by SAM
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Facebook your always asking whats on my mind...But what I really want to know is whats on your mind?
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08-14-2010 04:01
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all these pokes I'm getting am I supposed to sound like the pillsbury doughboy
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08-14-2010 01:43 by Eddy
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Happy+Friday=much fun......
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08-14-2010 00:10 by Corey C
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This girl rang me up one time, she says "come over, nobody is home", I went over, no one was home!
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08-14-2010 00:06 by @seddy90
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Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to
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08-14-2010 00:04
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JetBlue guy wants his job back. Dude, you can't go up that slide.
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08-13-2010 23:42
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JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater is NOT NEWS!!! WTF
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08-13-2010 23:35
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it's friday the 13th and storming. Not gonna lie, I'm half expecting Jason to come knocking on my door...
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08-13-2010 23:10 by serena v.
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Justin Bieber and former American Idol winners are all pitching in to help out with Middle Tennessee flood relief. They are being stuffed into burlap sacks and thrown against the floodwaters.
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08-13-2010 22:44
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in the mood to watch some Disney movies!
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08-13-2010 22:31
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doesn't believe you should get so caught up in avoiding lightning, that you miss the storm...
You ever watched ants? You got that kinda time on your hands like me??
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08-13-2010 19:01
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IF A MALE AND FEMALE ARE IN THE SAME ROOM 8 HOURS A DAY 5 DAYS A WEEK ITS GONNA HAPPEND SONNER OR LATER
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08-13-2010 18:50 by EL KERNAL
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My five year old son was getting out of the shower and with a puzzled look asked, dad what are these for? Being caught a little off guard, I replied... Balance...
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08-13-2010 18:28
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I remember when I was younger "Friday the 13th" used to make think about Jason movies. Now all I can think about is "Do the bars have any specials today?"
I think "the new G.M." should implement long-overdue improvements in their new vehicles. Like restraints in the back of all turnip trucks.
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08-13-2010 18:01 by Damon
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Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one...and got hit by a bus.
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08-13-2010 17:52
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A truck load of tortoises get in a wreck with a boat load of terrapins... it was a turtle disaster!
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08-13-2010 17:44
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