Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5701 of 6384
Don't wear memorable shoes when you're going to take a dump in the grocery store bathroom.
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08-15-2010 12:28
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You were not "just wondering" now tell me why you asked.
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08-15-2010 12:25
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Before a Staring Contest I always blink a lot to get ready.
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08-15-2010 12:23
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My bed is so possessive. Every morning it holds me captive.
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08-15-2010 12:22
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Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.
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08-15-2010 12:21
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The person who said "nothing's impossible!" has never seen me doing nothing.
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08-15-2010 12:19
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Guys, I know when people die they say to move on. I don't want that. Bury me in a time capsule and dig me up every 10 years. NEVER FORGET!
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08-15-2010 12:16
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If it wasn't for rap I probably wouldn't know the area codes of most major metropolitan cities.
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08-15-2010 12:14
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It's 100° with an under-boob index of 110°.
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08-15-2010 12:13
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I feel like my co-workers are family. I don't like spending time with my family either.
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08-15-2010 12:13
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"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." "So is a grenade!"
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08-15-2010 12:11
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Okay... If we get caught, pretend we don't speak English!
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08-15-2010 12:10
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2 dyslexics run into a bank and shout "air in the hands mother stickers this is a f*ck up"
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08-15-2010 12:08
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I love people that go to the beach w. a t shirt over their bathing suit, I think that draws more attention to whatever ur trying to hide
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08-15-2010 11:59 by L
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if you have to ask how someone feels about you then the answer is not going to be good...
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08-15-2010 10:47
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Happy birthday Dora the explorer now we can get you a GPS
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08-15-2010 10:46
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Before a Break up, Always have a Back up !!
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08-15-2010 10:37 by Soneyooo
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Dear Men,if you are going to criticise a womans figure or any other aspect of her appearance please make 100% sure that you are Brad pitt or Johnny Depp...
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08-15-2010 10:36
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31 States, 1618 Languages, 6 Major Religions, 29 National Festivals, 1 Country!! Happy Independence Day INDIA!!!
Baywatch" is now showing on Comedy Central ...Ironic..I thought it was a Drama
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08-15-2010 08:53
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