Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5689 of 6384
I'm beginning to hate these whiny liberal groups!!!!!! Always crying about something.
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08-19-2010 14:51 by BBach
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To the woman at WalMart with all those screaming, unruly kids. I slipped a large box of condoms in your cart when your head was turned. You are so welcome!
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08-19-2010 14:22 by Jeff
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Alright! Drunk me from last night made hungover me some epic sandwiches for lunch today. Man, I love that guy!" :)
google 'waynesworld'... its gonna be bigger than crapbook
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08-19-2010 14:00
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When a man speaks, people listen, then look. When a woman speaks, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.
Apparently, I would rather break my teeth or put a hole in my new shirt than locate a pair of scissors to cut the tag off.
figured out when ordering at Starbucks, it pretty much works out to $1 a word
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08-19-2010 13:49
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Never hold your farts in. They go up your Spine then into your mind and that's where you're shi*ty idea's come from!"
The playground for success is a mere paradox to the reality in which we live
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08-19-2010 12:44
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someone told me I am immature and need to grow up...so guess who is not allowed in my treehouse now
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08-19-2010 11:57
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There's a new social networking site for girls with great bodies but not so great faces. It's called Butterfacebook
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08-19-2010 11:34
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Does anyone think that Snooki's latest "Disorderly Conduct at the Beach" have to do with her stomach being out?
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08-19-2010 11:23 by jturano
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Zipper vs. Penis .... Who ya got??
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08-19-2010 11:05 by levon
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wonders if rappers know that Ben Franklin was never president of the USA.
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08-19-2010 10:29 by geez
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Just think of all the millions and millions of people Dr Laura will help by being off the air
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08-19-2010 10:28 by geez
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anyone else noticed that the orbits girl in the commercial is different now? What happened to the original orbits girl?
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08-19-2010 10:18
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Putting the "i" in team since (insert your date of birth)
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08-19-2010 08:54 by leeeeeeem
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Just face it.... 9 out of 10 of your facebook friends would never be your friend in real life.
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08-19-2010 04:02
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She never lied to you. She promised to be your first and last... she just never said anything about all the others in between.
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08-19-2010 04:00
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I wouldn't feel too good about yourself... "inner beauty" is just a nice way of saying you're fat.
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08-19-2010 04:00
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