Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5656 of 6384
I finally got around to reading the story of the headless horseman.Up until now I always thought the story was about a horse rider that couldn't get a erection.
Ecclesiastes assures us... that there is a time for every purpose under heaven. A time to laugh... and a time to weep. A time to mourn... and there is a time to dance.
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08-31-2010 11:56
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Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
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08-31-2010 11:54 by jdpower
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The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from eating too much pi.
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08-31-2010 11:40
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when I go to Starbucks and the cashier asks me my name so the barista can call out my order, I say "Latte."
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08-31-2010 10:49 by CS
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Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter.
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08-31-2010 10:23
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The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from eating too much pi.
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08-31-2010 10:18
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When did "MUST READ" become code for "This is a total waste of time?"
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08-31-2010 09:26 by MBH
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They should change the name from "Girls Gone Wild" to "Girls Got Drunk!!!"
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08-31-2010 09:25
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Growing up, I dreamed of becoming a meteorologist. Now, I've got 3 weather apps on my phone. Living the dream people.
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08-31-2010 09:07 by MBH
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I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like P. Diddy but it wore of by the morning,
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08-31-2010 09:05 by MBH
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Who wants to do something we will regret in the morning? Anyone?
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08-31-2010 09:03 by MBH
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4 out of 5 dentists recommend me
planning a vacation to get away from people....see you guys in couple of hours, will facebook hourly to update you guys about my vacation
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08-31-2010 07:36
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I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!
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08-31-2010 03:17
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1994 is the worst year ever, Kurt Cobain died and Justin Bieber was born
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08-31-2010 03:10
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Yesterday I was 2 away from a threesome. I love college!
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08-31-2010 01:20
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You call that show "Man vs. Food", But I call it "Keeping Up With The Kardashians."
welcome to the Dark Side. Are you surprised that we don't have cookies?
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08-30-2010 22:44 by BitMaP
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Updating your status at the gym burns a lot of calories.
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08-30-2010 22:04 by Max
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