Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5638 of 6384
Dear A+. You are the most beautiful grade of them all... Thank you for visiting... Please hang out with me more often... We belong together... I will never tire of looking at you...
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09-08-2010 03:52 by Bindi
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Dont Drink and Ebay.. you'll surely get bankrupt
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09-08-2010 02:22
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Mon :( Tues :/ Wed :| Thurs :) Friday :D Sat ^.^ Sun -_-
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09-08-2010 01:35
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CRAP.... look who's online..LOG OUT LOG OUT LOG OUT....."Hey whats up?..s***!!
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09-08-2010 01:23 by ANGELA
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We should get 600 rolls of toilet paper, and tp Trevor Hoffmans house...
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09-07-2010 23:59 by Kyle
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it's been a great summer and would like to thank the ladies for the great mammaries
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09-07-2010 23:36
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I got enough crap in my life at the moment sorry I cant fit you in!
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09-07-2010 23:00
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The grass may look greener . . . but it's Astroturf.
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09-07-2010 22:54 by Scott
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Just caught my girlfreind in bed with my best friend. I threw her out, then grabbed him and shouted, "Bad Dog! Bad Dog!"
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09-07-2010 21:51 by Aaron
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some times the same way a guy does not cherish a good girl a girl does not cherish a good guy.
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09-07-2010 21:01
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I am very suspicious about joggers. It seems as if they are always the ones who find the bodies.
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09-07-2010 20:40
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Im starting a "stop breeding ugly children boycott" in front of the hospitals
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09-07-2010 19:31
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ohh really? no blisters if I use this right?
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09-07-2010 19:28
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It felt so good to delete you, I'd accept you just to do it all over again!!
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09-07-2010 19:28
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Remember what your elders used to say, "Birds of a feather flock together. If you're an eagle, don't hang around chickens: Chickens Can't Fly!
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09-07-2010 19:14 by Danmanz
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Was about to put on my white jeans then realized ITS AFTER LABOR DAY! Phew, what a fashion mistake that would had been! So I put on my neon green parachute pants instead.
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09-07-2010 18:48
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tried to sell myself on Craigslist...now I'm "Censored."
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09-07-2010 17:37 by Juni
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I've been given two weeks to live. The wife's gone away for a fortnight.
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09-07-2010 17:12 by KOC
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Ass, Gas or Grass works on all hitchhikers until you see that 250 pound fat chick holding a full gas can with a doobie in her mouth and her thumb out...Keep driving! Keep driving!
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09-07-2010 16:46
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Of all the names for a cookie...who the hell came up with "Snickerdoodle"?
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09-07-2010 16:42
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