Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5635 of 6384
Opportunity knocked, but by the time I took off the chain, pushed back the bolt, unhooked two locks and shut off the alarm, it was too late..
←Rate |
09-08-2010 22:26 by Aaron
Comments (0)
this may sound crazy but I got head on my mind ;)
←Rate |
09-08-2010 22:09 by kyle
Comments (0)
They call us the Febreze Brothers because we are so fresh!!
←Rate |
09-08-2010 22:00
Comments (0)
Here is to another nite I'm not going to remember..
←Rate |
09-08-2010 21:51 by Wolf
Comments (0)
...just heard that Britney told E! that Paris doesn't have a problem with drugs. isn't that like asking Chester Cheetah if the Cookie Monster has a problem with carbs...
ahhh! The life of an overworked Zombie
←Rate |
09-08-2010 21:25 by timboss
Comments (0)
One of life's purest joys is discovering that something has pockets.
←Rate |
09-08-2010 20:52
Comments (0)
Facebook has allowed me to bring my "He's a distraction to the rest of the class" from grade school to a global scale.
←Rate |
09-08-2010 20:47
Comments (0)
It's My late night and I Forgot to bring my lunch and dinner to work with me. My "things I would do for a Klondike bar" list, is rapidly starting to grow!
←Rate |
09-08-2010 19:05 by boo
Comments (0)
The most difficult foreign language to learn is 'Ozzy Osbourne'. I think they make a Rosetta Stone version for that.
←Rate |
09-08-2010 18:56
Comments (0)
...Singer Morrisey says Chinese are a “subspecies.” Sorry I'd write more but there's a subspecies at my door with my dinner
Some people like to "cuddle," some prefer to "spoon," I rather "spork" ..... think about it, it will come to you.
←Rate |
09-08-2010 17:01 by bigedusw
Comments (0)
magine yourself as you would like to be, doing what you want to do,and each day, take one step towards your dream. And though at times it may seem too difficult to continue, hold on to your dream.One morning you will awake to find that you are the person
←Rate |
09-08-2010 16:38
Comments (3)
Good God...WHAT'S the problem with telling someone "I'm SO miserable without you it's almost like having you here?" LOL-sheesh! ;)
←Rate |
09-08-2010 15:45
Comments (1)
DON'T put a question mark where GOD has put a period. ;)
←Rate |
09-08-2010 15:42
Comments (0)
ALL relationships require compromise and giving and sacrificing ur way for the sake of others. You can't have ur way ALL the time and expect to have fulfilling relationships. ;)
←Rate |
09-08-2010 15:37
Comments (0)
Disappointments are Inevitable but misery is optional. ;)
←Rate |
09-08-2010 15:34
Comments (0)
Police pulls over a speeding car; Cop: I've been waiting for you all day. Driver: Yeah well I got here as fast as I could. ;)
←Rate |
09-08-2010 15:30
Comments (1)
Aside from ur face, what's ur problem!? ;)
←Rate |
09-08-2010 15:25
Comments (0)
How is it C-3PO is fluent in 6 million languages, yet in none of them can manage to say, "I'm gay?"
←Rate |
09-08-2010 15:23 by jdpower
Comments (0)