Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5625 of 6384
If I could pick winning football teams half as well as I pick the stupidest, slowest cashier in Walmart, I could afford to shop elsewhere.
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09-13-2010 16:30
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I hope that guy that "wants to be a billionaire" makes $999,999,999.99 and then gets hit by a bus.
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09-13-2010 16:30
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I always feel uneasy when Friday the 13th falls on a Monday.
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09-13-2010 16:28
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When people text or typ "ROTFLMFAO" do you really think they are rolling of the floor laughing? If so how are they typing that status?
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09-13-2010 15:59
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it just me or would anyone else really like a hurricane named after them? Earl? Igor? Yuck!
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09-13-2010 15:36
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Eating Breakfast, drinking coffee, catching up on Facebook and listening to music. It's impressive to be this busy and still get nothing done.
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09-13-2010 15:31
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I just skimmed through 50cent tweet page. I can't believe the guy's only been shot nine times.
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09-13-2010 15:25
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So Monday and Tuesday sucked. But, with the right mix of caffeine, alcohol and mushrooms, Wednesday doesn't even have to happen at all.
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09-13-2010 14:59 by Aaron
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Sometimes the dreams that come true are the dreams you never knew you had. Like when the vending machine gives you 2 soda's
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09-13-2010 14:45
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I'm not quite ready to declare this the 2,847th best day of my life, but it's certainly trending that way.
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09-13-2010 14:37 by Aaron
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When two meth addicts go out, is it considered speed dating?
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09-13-2010 14:32 by jdpower
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Rose tint my world keep me safe from my trouble and pain....
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09-13-2010 14:25 by Gr`Apes
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Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
Twilight: The story of a young girls struggle between necrophilia and beastiality.
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09-13-2010 13:59
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Cancel my subscription....I am done with your issues!
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09-13-2010 13:21 by Jeff
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Those who say you only fall in love once must not have a FB, cause I see ALOT of PPL falling in love like every other week with a new person!! .. and if this offends you, maybe you need to take a look at your situation.
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09-13-2010 12:39
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Facebook the number one rumor starter
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09-13-2010 12:25
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it wrong to laugh at the flaming gay guys getting attacked by bees? What? It's funny!
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09-13-2010 12:22
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I joined the Tourettes society today. It only took a minute to be sworn in.
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09-13-2010 11:51 by Aaron
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Want to program my GPS to say "Right turn Clyde" whenever the right turn now arrow appears.
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09-13-2010 11:33
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