Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Be yourself beautiful, and you will find the world full of beauty

   The Chileans take hide and seek way too seriously

   Send an email to a friend saying "PLEASE PLASE PLEASE Disregard previous message. Please don't read it! I love you!" It will drive them crazy!

   Then the Mermaid looked at me and kissed me.. I stopped her & said, " I can't"...."Something smells fishy here"

   As the 13th miner was about to surface, the sky news presenter described Carlos Barrios as being single, is also a taxi driver and likes horse racing. It's a f-king rescue operation not blind date!

   Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

   Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

   might be bright out 2 day.. I'll probably be squinting like a Chilean miner...

   Okay lads, let's all remember this : What happened in the mine, stays in the mine.

   The miner in best shape came out last.. You know that kocky one with the abs,"El Situacion"

   Gavin Rossdale has admitted to a gay fling when he was younger.. In a related story, a gay dude admitted to making sh!tty music for 15 years.

   faking your birthday on facebook = finding out real friends

   its alot of birthday's today on facebook, maybe I should fake mines to feel more important

   Funny fat guy fall on face! -The Hangover

   what you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth.

   You know I'm a Duke boys fan..but how is it Luke always knows short cuts that Bo doesn't? They're always in the car together!!

   Wow..Thought I just seen a cool bass boat next to me, turns out to be a 64 Impala!

   pretending he is driving on a dirt road in Hazzard county..Yee-Hawww!

   Schizophrenia- Me against all of me.

   Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.