Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 5579 of 6446

   messageicon I just played FARKLE against somebody from across the World, and yet we had a mutual friend! My opponent knows Pamela Anderson too!
←Rate | 10-19-2010 08:39 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Justin Bieber is being accused of assault on a 12 year old while playing laser tag.... He's FINALLY got the street cred he needed... 'bout time ;)
←Rate | 10-19-2010 08:30 by Gr~April Comments (0)  


   messageicon At a meeting last night Bill gates and Steve Jobs were both in attendance , when Gates started dozing off , Jobs replied "There's a nap for that"
←Rate | 10-19-2010 08:08 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon MTV needs to be "Made" into a better channel
←Rate | 10-19-2010 02:55 by eftiki Comments (0)  


   messageicon A good solution can be successfully applied to almost any problem.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 02:32 by PL Comments (0)  


   messageicon My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 02:22 by PL Comments (0)  


   messageicon People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 02:19 by PL Comments (0)  


   messageicon Business truth: The phone will not ring until you leave your desk and walk to the other end of the building.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 02:18 by PL Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ability is a good thing but stability is even better.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 02:13 by PL Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you go to sleep with a itching ass you will wake up with a stinking finger ...
←Rate | 10-19-2010 02:05 by PL Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 02:02 by PL Comments (0)  


   messageicon My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 02:01 by PL Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
←Rate | 10-19-2010 01:59 by PL Comments (3)  


   messageicon Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 01:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Skipping the new "Jackass" movie... already saw Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar on "The View" this week.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 00:40 by Billy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Killer in me is the Killer in you.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 00:38 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake? “Must be an earthquake.”
←Rate | 10-19-2010 00:11 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon hopes this Halloween, he doesn't end up with a bag full of restraining orders again.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 00:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess yankee fans wont update there statuss!!
←Rate | 10-18-2010 23:44 by SAMIR K Comments (0)  


   messageicon This just in......Deanna Farve, wife of Brett Farve, has issued a statement saying that the cell phone pics weren't meant for Jenn Sterger but they were meant to be sent to her. She was quoted as saying, "They were supposed to be sent to me but you know B
←Rate | 10-18-2010 23:09 Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left