Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5554 of 6384
Who thought it was a good idea to make commercials 5 minutes longer than the actual show you are watching?
I saw a woman with a Breast Cancer Awareness t-shirt that said "Yes they're fake, My real ones tried to kill me!"
You can't please everyone, so you might as well just concentrate on me.
Facebook: Lying to people you know. Twitter: Be honest to people you don't know.
Most of the fun things I've done have never been smart ideas.
It takes a special kind of crazy to marry a divorce lawyer.
You never know who your real friends are until you are in need and then you'll be surprised who shows up.
A back-up plan means your first plan sucks.
The police should make criminals open Facebook accounts. It seems the easiest way to get a confession out of them without any interrogation.
←Rate |
10-07-2010 19:32
Comments (0)
I think the no passing notes at school policy should apply to teachers too.
←Rate |
10-07-2010 18:40 by AT
Comments (0)
come on weekend why your taking so long to come
←Rate |
10-07-2010 18:38
Comments (0)
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
←Rate |
10-07-2010 18:18 by Aaron
Comments (0)
What's the difference between a bottle and puberty?? .........A bottle has already hit Justin Bieber!!
←Rate |
10-07-2010 17:24 by ANGELA
Comments (0)
Ya know, Joe Biden sayin' "If I hear one more Republican tell me about balancing the budget, I am going to strangle them," doesn't frighten me NEAR as much as Nancy Pelosi threatening to release her flying monkeys!! ....just sayin'....
←Rate |
10-07-2010 17:09
Comments (0)
Lean Cuisine you may have fewer calories and less fat, but you do not satisfy me. I'm still hungry. :(
←Rate |
10-07-2010 16:35
Comments (0)
Now that I know where all the purses are, I'm busting out my ski mask and crow bar. Time to make mo money.
←Rate |
10-07-2010 16:33
Comments (0)
Ok...tryin to loose weight... I went to the doctor this mornin. He ask.. How's your diet? I said I've been eating apples, bananas, oranges . Then he asked... "have you seen a skinny gorilla," I said FU!!
Out of all the fish in the sea, your the only one I want to mount..
←Rate |
10-07-2010 15:50 by Wolf
Comments (0)
not sure what's worse.... finding out Darth Vader is your father or remembering that the day before you were trying to f*ck your sister??
←Rate |
10-07-2010 14:54 by levon
Comments (0)
I thought that Google could figure everything out. So I put it to the test. I Googled women. It came back with " Question to complicated " and under the search box. "Exact words & Not feeling so lucky".
←Rate |
10-07-2010 14:51
Comments (0)