Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5524 of 6384
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
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10-16-2010 22:23
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Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
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10-16-2010 22:21
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A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
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10-16-2010 22:20
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Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the BIOTCH up with cookies.
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10-16-2010 22:19
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With the price of printer ink so high, it would probably be more cost-effective to keep a giant aquarium full of squid and harvest my own.
drinking. I have my cellphone on me and it has facebook on it. I appoligize in advance and will delete my wall posts as soon as I wake up.
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10-16-2010 22:18
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Barbara Billingsley thank you for introducing us to and letting us see the beaver.
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10-16-2010 21:59
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You know the economy is bad when...Congress decides to keep their hands in their OWN pockets.
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10-16-2010 20:48 by ashley j.
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rip Barbara Billingsley, Beaver Cleaver's TV mom, dies
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10-16-2010 20:43
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I thought I saw a two headed turtle once, but it turned out he was just having a sh!.
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10-16-2010 18:50 by jimbo
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considering going back to school to become a veterinarian and a taxidermist...either way...you get your cat back....
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10-16-2010 18:16
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So I was wondering. If I paid to go watch a football game and suddenly in the middle of the game all the christian players get raptured up into heaven, do I get a refund???
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10-16-2010 17:25 by Steven
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having a drink for the Chilean miners tonight... all 33 of them.
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10-16-2010 15:18
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"This is what we do in Florida. We wear hoodies and sweat pants when the temperature drops 4 degrees. Get with it or go back to shoveling snow in Canada, jerk."
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10-16-2010 15:10
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some people were dropped as babies. clearly, you were thrown against a wall.
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10-16-2010 14:48 by ohsydney.
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. Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men ... woman
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10-16-2010 14:17 by @seddy90
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What is it with black guys randomly rehearsing an R&B/ rap lyric when walking down the street?
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10-16-2010 12:36 by @seddy90
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what it's all about... TAKE THAT HOKIE POKIE!
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10-16-2010 12:34
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Can't wait to get off work, then I can finally stop staring at this damn computer, and go stare at a different computer.
Good Effort! A Polite way to say "YOU SUCK!"
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10-16-2010 12:31 by Donna
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