Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   In addition to being able to click "Like", Facebook needs a "That's what she said." option

   Get out from my memory !!!

   hates it when someone constantly complains about the town they live it. Here's a thought.....move if you don't like it! But quit your bit#&ing!

   getting rid of his "facebook wall" for the new "facebook window". Instead of writing comments on my wall, now all you ladies can "put em' on the glass".

   likes poetry, chocolate cake, and poking dead things with sticks.

   writes "like this", and not "lyk dis", because she is an adult, and because she is not stupid

   a little puzzled, as to why she has eye-liner on her thigh...

   may get her mink out tonight. It's time.

   has no doubt that there's a place in every woman's life for a red thong, but that place is not five inches above the waistline of her jeans. Ever.

   discovered today, that the man sitting next to her had wet himself.

   just asked a group of people for a lighter. They thought she was homeless, asking for money. She's wearing false lashes. When was the last time you saw a homeless person with false lashes?

   amazed what she can do with a broccoli, when she puts her mind to it.

   MYTH NUMBER 6.... Liquor Before Beer, Never Fear.

   Bought a dog that gives up chasing a cat after about 10 seconds. So I'm calling it Quits.

   Just for fun, I left a note of this guys car at Wal-Mart that said, "Sorry for backing into your car". That should keep him busy for a few minutes.

   idiot noun \ˈi-dē-ət\ - One who disagrees with me

   A sack of corn nuts and a good Vogue magazine. And I m just fine

   Its not that I'm not that into you. Its more that I'm not into you at all.

   Betty Crocker likes to spoon?

   as of today I will no longer use "lol" after my comments or posts...I will now use "snicker".