Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5437 of 6385
...yikes! saw a bunch of vegetarian zombies at the store today. all they could say was "GRRRAAAIIIIIINNNSSS"
if at first you don't succeed, try again until you bleed
My Dad took the "how horny are you ? " test. the result was "very horny" and my mom clicked the like button. - I'm so not sleeping at home tonight...
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11-14-2010 13:40 by repero
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Famous last words, "Here, watch this!" Says a child just before demonstrating how an egg soaked in vinegar will bounce.
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11-14-2010 13:30
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Remember when you were a kid and used to blow bubbles? Well Bubbles called and he wants your phone number...
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11-14-2010 13:16 by Vinnie
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playing Call of Booty
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11-14-2010 11:58
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Physicists have yet to explain why 200 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only three registers will be open
A psycho and a teenage girl are walking thru dark scary woods..Teanage girls says"My I am very scared walking thru these woods" The psycho replies"How do you think I feel ? I have to walk back alone"
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11-14-2010 11:37
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remember the old 80's drug commercials..The fryin pan and the egg? This is your brain....this is your brain on drugs...any questions? yeah can I have some bacon and toast with that ?
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11-14-2010 11:34
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King rule - Raja decide what PM and other minsters want to do. Now ministers and others will decide the fate of Raja.
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11-14-2010 11:09
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predicts Peppermint Patty invites herself and her friends over to Charlie Brown's for Thanksgiving again this year.
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11-14-2010 10:43
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Like a Kamikaze pilot, I stay fly till I die.
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11-14-2010 10:43 by Esoteric
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and, finally, what do you call a deer with no eyes? I-Have-No-I-Deer!
wonders why hedgehogs don't just share the hedge...
if women ruled the world there would be no wars. just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
I stand in an elite group, Procrastinators! The leaders of tomorrow...
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11-14-2010 08:59 by John
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As our lady of Disco, the divine Miss Gloria Gaynor has always sung to us: I will survive!!!
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11-14-2010 08:31 by Gr`April
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heard practice at Cowboy Stadium was delayed 2 hrs after a player reported finding a white powdery substance on the ground. After a complete analysis, Dallas CSI forensic experts determined the white substance, unfamiliar to the players, was the goal line
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11-14-2010 08:17
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likes the fact that my boss is technologically handicapped. Now I have fed his number in the black list and he's off to get his phone repaired so that he can make calls to me.
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11-14-2010 08:13
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misses the days of Mystery Google.
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11-14-2010 08:10
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