Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5432 of 6385
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Apparently it's green week. In an effort to contribute, I just created a save electricity sign: "Don't you hate it when someone turns you on, and then just leaves?"
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11-16-2010 11:03 by Michael
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I have no problem with allowing Michael Vick to play in the NFL. However, if he ever suffers a career ending injury, he should be "put to sleep" immediately
Great! Now all the pervs are going to apply for jobs with the TSA!
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11-16-2010 09:53 by Xerxes910
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If you're happy and you know it...share your meds.
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11-16-2010 09:39
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Mike Vick thought he was playing the Washington Pitbulls cause he killed them!!
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11-16-2010 08:28
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Everyone is intitled to their opinion, and in my opinion, your opinion sucks!
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11-16-2010 06:22
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"One of the few things I really about FaceBook is that you can post or quote almost anything and few people will question it."- Abraham Lincoln :)
Thinks someone needs to invent a sarcasm font.
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11-16-2010 02:31 by Jason
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bad decisions make good stories.
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11-16-2010 02:31 by Jason
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just added a guy on facebook named "emon", just so I could Poke Emon
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11-16-2010 02:29 by eftiki
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If I get pulled over in Arizona and the cop says "Papers" and I say "Scissors", do I win?
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11-15-2010 23:57
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New study shows that too much Facebook leads to alcohol/drug abuse, which leads to neglecting one's imaginary sheep.
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11-15-2010 23:17 by jdpower
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Fox News reports that Obama visits Indonesia, one of several foreign countries where he was born.
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11-15-2010 23:16 by jdpower
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We need to talk, shuffle.. One Hall & Oates song is a great idea - but two in a row is completely unacceptable.
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11-15-2010 23:15 by jdpower
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man doesn't have to worry about people staring at his patch.
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11-15-2010 23:14 by jdpower
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Russians have grossly misunderstood roulette. Someone needs to tell them it's gambling on numbers, not maybe killing yourself.
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11-15-2010 23:13 by jdpower
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wants a full-body scan AND a pat-down! Mmmmm...
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11-15-2010 23:10
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I always wanted to read other people's minds, well now there's facebook where everyone just thinks out loud. Thank you facebook, the future is here.
So when your sexting...do you get a phoner?
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11-15-2010 23:02 by ANGELA
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