jz Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
←Rate | 04-28-2010 13:26 by jz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Half the lies they tell about me aren't true
←Rate | 06-08-2010 10:16 by jz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry, during the Apocalypse the zombies are looking for brains, you're safe..
←Rate | 06-19-2010 10:17 by jz Comments (0)  


   messageicon The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
←Rate | 04-28-2010 13:03 by jz Comments (1)  


   messageicon ♫♫♪♪ It's the most... wonderful time... for a beer ♪♪♫♫
←Rate | 12-05-2010 16:45 by jz Comments (0)  


   messageicon your inference that I am without religion is incorrect and I am actually torn between two faiths; while your gods promise of eternal life is very persuasive, the Papua New Guinean mud god, Pikiwoki, is promising a pig and as many coconuts as you can carry
←Rate | 08-17-2010 18:16 by jz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
←Rate | 04-28-2010 13:06 by jz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet you I could stop gambling
←Rate | 06-14-2010 10:10 by jz Comments (0)  


   messageicon In an argument, a woman always has the last word. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument
←Rate | 06-14-2010 10:12 by jz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
←Rate | 04-28-2010 13:05 by jz Comments (1)  


   messageicon My ex-girlfriend gave me a sweetest day card. Ok, it was a restraining order but it's the thought that counts
←Rate | 10-19-2013 11:28 by jz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me
←Rate | 06-14-2010 10:11 by jz Comments (0)  


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